I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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