I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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