Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
