Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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