real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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