I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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