let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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