you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
