I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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