I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the day after is always just damage control
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
