but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
