your parents love me but you hate me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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