whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize