Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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