Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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