i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
