In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I have feelings that need drinking.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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