shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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