Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
