We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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