Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
