idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
