I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
