She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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