The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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