Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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