I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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