I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I got inside last night via doggy door
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"