My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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