I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
