I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
