sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
