You work out of a Hotel?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you would pick up someone in the library
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
