i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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