woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize