i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
