They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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