I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
