that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
