i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
