I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
