Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
