i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
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sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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