Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
