1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
