I will die if light touches me.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
