Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All I want is dick and wine.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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