do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
