NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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