I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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