walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
