If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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