So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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