She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
