Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
