If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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